In IT to win IT

Chandra is the owner of a blog I've recently discovered. A couple days ago she asked: If you came into a windfall of money, what would you do with it?


Firstly, it would depend how much I won, £10.00 and £10,000 are very different amounts. 
For the sake of this blog post I'm gonna take the realistic figure of £126,000,000. Yes, that's almost $202,000,000. And yes, this is a realistic figure because its the prize of tomorrow nights EuroMillions.
♥If I won that amount I wouldn't be greedy, honestly that is more money that one person could ever need. I know a lot of people who are struggling, unemployed or newly married and trying to get on their feet. I'm certain they would appreciate a gift of a million pounds. I know many of my regular readers would.
♥I would buy my mum a new house, in a nice neighborhood. And a new car, automatic so that she doesn't have to worry about shifting.  
♥I would have a huge family holiday. My family have never met Adams and I would love for us all to get together and have fun. 
♥I toy with this daily but I might have a wedding. Yes, I'm married but Adam and I didn't really get the "wedding" that I would have liked. I'm not sure he really cares but I would like to have a vow renewal in a Church and have all our friends and family there. 
♥Did I mention I'd pay off all my debts. Credit cards and student loans, the whole shebang.
♥I'd buy a yacht or/and a holiday home.
♥I'd give money to the NSPCC and Great Ormand Street Hospital, I'm really all about charities that work for children.
♥I'd have a Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman, moment. I'd wear my regular, at home clothes and go shopping in a fancy department store and blow a few grand.


And don't worry, whenever we discuss winning loads the husband is always cautious and talks about putting it in a high interest account and living off the interest. Which is oddly the reverse for us. Usually, he's the one who spends without thinking and I'm the cautious one. I guess I've just been waiting for a windfall so I can go wild.


Oh and for people who I know but don't like enough to give a million pounds to, I'd like to introduce The Crystal Dome. Back in the day, I used to watch the show The Crystal Maze and dream of going on. It looked like so much fun. Of course, now that I'm older it just seems silly. But at the end they would enter the dome and have a certain amount of time to collect as many gold leaves as possible. I would have people enter the dome and try to collect as many £20 notes as possible. Check out this video I found (you can skip in to about 1 min 30 if you like):

Of course, all this depends on my winning tomorrow nights lotto. So I turn to you, my readers.
♥The first five readers to comment, please include a number between 1 and 50.
♥Then readers six and seven who comment, please include a number between 1 and 11.
The numbers will be played tomorrow. After all...You've gotta be in it to win it!

If you won or inherited £126,000,000 what would you do with it??? 

Sherms in the middle of discovering my true beauty ♥

Beauty is not in the face;
beauty is a light in the heart.

I'm used to seeing myself as less than other people. I look around and other girls seem to have an effortless beauty, effortless intelligence, effortless kindness. It's not that I can't be any of those things, its just that it seems to require so much more effort for me than others. And ultimately, I end up feeling like I can't be bothered. That life shouldn't be so difficult, therefore I wasn't meant to be smart, beautiful or always kind. I recognize the possibility that the glimpses I catch of other women, when they're looking stunning, might just be their "glam day" and the other 364 days of the year they look like me: someone who shows like The Swan were created for. But my own insecurities seem to cloud any common sense and I end up looking enviously at all these well put together women. My negative view of myself only hinders me. I start seeing myself a certain way and over a period of days, weeks, months and years, I slowly become that negative image. I am capable of so much more than I give myself credit for but that negative picture of myself prevents me from having the confidence to try and possibly succeed.


I would like to be beautiful and glamorous and perhaps it is the curse of being a woman, that almost every woman out there can find something about her body/features that she would like to change. I do have a rather extensive list but I would like to get to a place in life where I have body confidence. It'll require not just working out and eating healthy but the ability to love the way I was made. To love myself.


I'm ready to change my life, change my perspective. "If you don't like something about yourself, change it" though I think it might be easier said than done, I'm ready to make the lifestyle changes necessary. I often think about who I am and where I am in my life. Decisions I should have made differently. I know mistakes are part of life, you get knocked down, get back up and try again. I'm not sure whether I've said this before or not but I appreciate the difficulties I've faced in life because I can learn from them. My blog name comes from the struggle, the journey I'm on to become the best me I can be. And I know it starts with loving myself and no longer putting myself at the bottom of the list.


In the coming years I hope that Adam and I can build a good life together, we really are quite simple at heart. And though I can name several ways in which we're different, we share the same core family values and do honestly want a simple traditional family life.


In the coming months I'm looking to improve on myself. I want to gain body confidence by loosing weight and learning to love my curves. I want to dedicate more time to my passions, writing short stories and baking. I want to continue on this journey of deepening my faith and I hope when I move I find a good Church. I want to find a career that I enjoy where I can help people, even if that means returning to school. And I want to enjoy my husband and watch my marriage grow and strengthen. 

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I love to love but my baby just loves to dance

Well, as most of you know, I'm still in England. Missing the husband. When Adam left back in January, we entered into this immigration journey knowing that it wouldn't be as easy as when Adam moved to the UK but we certainly didn't expect it to take this long.
When he first left, I was a mess. I'm glad that I kept this blog because I can look back and witness the journey I went through trying to know myself without him. And it's been a journey that has brought me closer to God, closer to my friends and family and has helped me to learn some new things about myself. To discover just how resilient I can be...once I stop crying that is.
What most of you who aren't my Facebook friends, why not, add me already, don't know, is that the end is finally in sight. I don't want to start counting my chickens just yet, though it is difficult because I am so looking forward to seeing the husband but we have an interview date scheduled. I'd been stalking the post man for the past two weeks, hoping he would deliver me that much desired letter. He hasn't. But where my postman failed, my dialing fingers did not. I called the Embassy on Saturday and was informed that my interview has been scheduled for the end of September. I don't want to give away the actual date until I have the letter in my hand confirming it, I'm such a superstitious freak, but we are so happy to know that if things go to plan, we can be together again NEXT MONTH!
In all honesty, I'm glad that its taken over seven months to get to this stage because I am finally at a place where I am at peace with going. I've had time to spend with my nieces and nephew, to ease them into the reality of my leaving. I've taken the time to get my mum schooled on how Facebook and Skype works so we can stay in touch. And I've had some really great nights out with my besties. 
Last month my best friend Charlotte stepped over the threshold into 26 and celebrated in the best way she knew how, a trip to a nightclub. We knew that it would probably be the last birthday I celebrated with her for the next few years and she wanted to do something special. I don't usually go out to nightclubs anymore, I feel a little too old for it all now but I love to dance. When I was between 18-22 I would go out dancing a couple nights a month. I'd get all dressed up and wear heels and dance until the wee hours of the morning before hopping on a night bus home.

Now, to stay up past 12am is a huge accomplishment and to last the whole night dancing in heels is a miracle. When did I get so old? I much prefer going for dinner and drinks with a few close friends not dancing in heels and being shoved by some sweaty guy dancing like a fool. But I have to say, she had the right idea because I had so much fun. Yes, my feat hurt so bad the next two days but we had a blast. If you're my Facebook friend you would have already seen the pictures, if you're not, seriously add me already! 


 

Susana, Charlotte and I ♥

Helen, Me, Susana, Charlotte and Kathy.
I really have no idea what we're doing here,
after the 3rd shot everything gets a little silly ♥

Silly fun, I'm not sure we pull off the tough girl look ♥

I can't even remember what these shots are, I'm usually a tequila girl
I think Apple Sourz and Strawberries & Cream? ♥

Check out the girl in the hot pantz...no wonder I feel old when
the youngsters come out dressed like this! ♥

We have one more night out planned later this month when Susana turns 27! I'm not yet ready to face that, thank goodness I still have time. But I don't think she's too concerned, he fiance just turned 30 and they're busy planning their wedding and looking for a house. I really think age is relative to whether or not you're happy with your life.I'm hopeful that before I move we can fit in another evening out together, I was planning on having a leaving get together but with so many of my friends scattered in different parts of the country, it is difficult.

Perhaps I should start making plans for moving now that I know the interview date but I'm still hesitant. I don't want to leave everything to the last minute because there really is so much to take care of but I don't want to make any plans in case anything goes wrong. Adam says I'm being silly because I really can't think of anything that would give them a reason to say no, but I still don't want to take the chance. He was talking about booking a ticket before the prices go up too much more but we have no idea how long it'll take them to send my passport back after the interview. I don't know, perhaps I'm being too cautious. I like to plan things out and know things for certain before I jump. Adam is more adventurous, he flies by the seat of his pants and leaps in. Which actually works for us because I can appreciate that I need to relinquish control every now and then. And he's the man to help me do it. 

So I turn to you, my faithful reader, should I start making plans as if I'm leaving or wait until I'm actually approved? 

♥ Should I call shipping companies and have them give me estimates?

♥ Should I hand in my two weeks notice at work so that my last day is just before my interview?

♥Should I contact the necessary companies to let them know I'll be moving and change my contact details?

♥Should I buy a plane ticket so I have a day to look forward to?

♥Should I start seeing all the people I want to see again before I leave?

You Beautiful Blogger You ♥

So I got this award from Mila over at Free Bird Train. To the best of my knowledge, this is my first award over at blogger so I am very touched to receive it. It is given out to bloggers who are both beautiful on the inside and the outside. 


Here are the rules:

1. When you receive the award, link it back to the person who nominated you.
2. Nominate as many bloggers as you see fit for the award, and link their blogs. 
3. The link to JessieMariem.blogspot.com must stay on the award. 
4. Tell the bloggers who you nominate, so they can have a chance and nominate others.

Here are my nominees: 

♥ Sophia

♥ Stephanie 

♥ Melanie Liz

♥ Alida

I would recommend that everybody who enjoys my blog (when I post) check out the ladies above. I'm certain that you will find at least one blogger who you can connect with, relate to and enjoy visiting regularly.

Promise to come back tomorrow with an actual update on my life, things are changing for the better. I hope! xx

I ♥ London!

London's Burning went from being a nursery rhyme about the Great Fire of London in 1966 to a description of the violence and destruction that spread across the city, the country, in a matter of days.

Whilst I've been away from blogging, one of topics I wanted to blog about was my love of my city, London. 

A couple of weeks back I had my medical for my US Immigration. I did get a little lost, I actually walked up and down the same street three times before I realised where I was. But when I was leaving the medical on my way back to the station, I found myself on this little back street just off Oxford Circus. Without knowing it I was stood across the street from a little pub that Adam and I had visited after a day of shopping. I was desperate for the loo and it was the first public place we came across. There were lots of young professionals standing outside enjoying the summer weather in their suits. A little further along there is a row of Italian restaurants were couples and friends sit out on the pavement and enjoy wine and good food. I was suddenly stuck by how much I love this city, for a number of reasons. 

Firstly, it's not really possible to be lost in London. Just keep walking and eventually you'll come to a train station that will take you wherever you want to go. There is always a bus or train. Secondly, it's just amazing. For a girl like me, I love the hustle and bustle of central London. I love the history, the variety of people and the fashion. I really feel there is something for everyone in London. I suppose, except for the husband. 

I will honestly miss living here when/if I get my green card approved.


In regards to the move, I have a little counter at the top of my blog, counting the days since we begun this process. I am glad that the husband got to visit back in May because it helped to breakdown the time we've spent apart. I'm missing him something terrible but I'm also aware of the fact that in order to be with him again, I need to say goodbye to my best friends and my family. At the moment, we're waiting for the US Embassy to process my green card application and assign me an interview date. I am still hopeful that I'll be able to move at the start of October but we shall see. It's just a waiting game.


After everything that has been going down in London, Adam is eager to get me moved over already. And no matter how much I say, I can take care of myself and I'm always careful, he would much rather he were able to protect me. Speaking of protection, the husband recently purchased a gun. Obviously, being back in the US he can carry his knives and get a carry license for a gun. I've always known my husband is a typical Southern County Boy...in fact, I store him in my phone as "country boy husband"...but I'm not sure yet how comfortable I feel about guns. Obviously, I've never seen or held a gun in real life. So when the husband says he wants to get one for me, I am a little wary. We've come to the agreement that if I take a gun safety class and practise at a shooting range, he can get me a pretty pink one. Only if I feel totally comfortable with it. I'm super aware of the fact that if I have a gun but don't know how to use it, I can do myself more damage than good.

I've never had any incidents living in such a big city and I love that everything is just a short train ride away. I really do love my city. Before I move, I am planning to have a London day out where I do all the tourist things I take for granted!


So a little about what's been dominating the news over here...or at least my opinion on what's been going down.

When the news came out that a man was shot by police, it made headline news because it doesn't happen every day over here. Even with the riots and violence, police aren't even allowed to use rubber bullets. Your average Bobby doesn't patrol with a gun, they have pepper spray and a truncheon. That's it. For them to come locked and loaded, they would have been lead to believe that the suspect was armed. 

Mark Duggan was shot by police after it was alleged that he shot a police officer. The details of this incident are still hazy and the official report has not yet been completed. 
The family, understandably upset and confused, decided to hold a protest outside their local police station to get answers. And answers they did not get. I don't know how this isolated incident managed to spread violence across the country.

My opinion is this. To carry a gun or even a replica gun (which can sometimes be modified to shoot) is a crime. If someone held a replica gun in my face I would not know the difference. The police have every right to defend themselves if someone is making threats with a gun. I can not see any justifiable reason for this young man to have a gun. I clearly think there is more to the story than what has been reported so far but we cannot speculate until the investigation is over. 
If it were my loved one shot, I would want answers but unfortunately, these things take time. It takes even longer when police resources are being spent trying to stop rioters.


There is never any justifiable reason to act like an animal. To cause criminal damage, to loot, to set fires, to attack and kill not only your fellow human being but your neighbour. The actions of these groups of criminals, totally disgusts me. These are not normal, functioning human beings and they are a drain on our country. I like the idea of cutting their benefits and kicking them out of their government provided home. It is because so much is given to them for nothing, that they think they have the right to take from decent hard working individuals. I am all about naming and shaming them, turning in anyone you know and issuing strong prison sentences. This behaviour is not acceptable and its time that message is sent. I wish that my government could appreciate how much people love this country because maybe if they did, they would make the changes that would allow Britain to be Great again.
 

Do you ever get so far behind with your blogs that you wanna ignore all those alerts and start afresh? 
Well, I'm there! lol! But I'm a trooper so I'm going through alerts and catching up. Hopefully I might even be able to come back with a proper post of my own later this week. Wish me luck!