Jland Break Down

 

I don't really suppose I could explain my sudden departure from journal land. It wasn't something that I'd been contemplating for a long time & if it were i would have done it a lot better and not left so many people feeling excluded, confused and abandoned.

Whilst my journal was private NOBODY, not even Adam, had access to it. I really did need some time to be honest with myself in a place where I should be.

 

I love Public Thoughts, it really is where everything good in my life started. And I can look back and see how i fell in love and how i became friends with some of the best women in the world. It tells the story of me in my own words and who wouldn't want that?

 

But somehow, over time, i came to find that I wasn't writing for myself or from the heart anymore. And that I was writing things that I shouldn't have been writing, not that there are things that I want to keep from jland, but just things that I should. Something's are personal I guess.

 

I was sitting around jland after receiving an email from a fellow jlander and it just got me thinking so much about what my journal meant to me. And I really didn't know anymore why I was journaling, whether it was for me or for other people.

 

I'm sure you all know how demanding jland can sometimes be, i'm sure i'm not the only one who finds themselves deleting alerts once they reach the 150 mark. there's really just no going back from there, least not for me.

 

But I took some time out, turned my journal private just because I had things in there that I didn't want the world to be able to peek at whilst my back was turned.

 

Came to realise that I didn't need to journal to still have jland friends or receive support from jlanders. I got emails checking how I was and letting me know how missed I was. And though you might not have known it, I did visit yalls journals and think about you.

 

Right now I'm at a point where I'm feeling a little more optimistic and much more ready to come back and write.

 

There's no excuse for just running out on my journal like that, I guess you could call it a jland break down or something. I just needed some time to get myself together.

 

But like I said, i'm hopeful. Its amazing what the turn of a year can make a person feel, but i'm clinging on to the tiny bit of optimism that I have and i'm just gonna roll on into 07 with it.

 

I hope you all have a Wonderful & Happy New Year!

 

thanks Terry Ann for this AWESOME tag! Its the first one i'm using in this new journal! :)

Its been a long, long time

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas season. I know, it was over far too quickly considering all the effort we put into it. But look on the bright side, before we know it it'll be Christmas 2007 and we'll get to do it all again!

Please look through my pictures above, I had a wonderful Christmas and was most fortunate to be able to spend the day with my family. And watch Nathan and Syan open all the gifts that we got for them.

I hope that everyone in jland had an enjoyable Christmas, i've looked through lots of pictures and it seems like most of you had a great time. For those of you who didn't, please know you're in my thoughts.

So far I've received 7 cards from Jland. Thank you Lyn, Allison, Julie, Ellen, Lisa (warts & all), Renee and Penny. It truly means so much to me to get cards from you and esp during a time when I haven't been journaling. 

I hope everyone received the cards I sent out, everyone who gave me their address got one.

And if you sent one to me but I didn't list you, it just hasn't arrived yet. But we've recently had some awful fog and I think it just delayed it somewhat.

It feels good to be active in jland again. I won't right now, but I will in my next entry, update what's going on with me and attempt to explain why I left so suddenly and why I didn't go back to Public Thoughts.

Hugs & Love,

Shermeen xx