First hit of snow 2010

I've been sick the past few days, which is never a pleasurable experience. I don't usually get a full on stomach flu, so this was something I was not expecting and not at all prepared to deal with. But given the time of year, I guess it was due. Of course, my family avoided me as best possible. Only Adam visited me in my den of sickness and even gave me kisses on the cheek. At least my husband was willing to stare bacteria in the face and keep loving his wife. Thankfully, I didn't pass it one to anyone else...least not yet any way.
I have come to discover that I don't enjoy being confined to my bed, it is the most boring experience. I did spend a great deal of time sleeping but even then, there are so many hours you can sleep. Television is abysmal at this time of year and I don't have a good book to read (must visit Amazon tomorrow). I suppose I should take this as a lesson to stock up on multi-vitamins during the winter season. Today we got our first hit of snow and I am so glad that I had the day off work. In fact, I haven't stepped out the the house yet today. I say, yet, but really I have no plans to leave the house at this time of night. I always say, after a certain time of night anybody out on the street isn't looking for anything good. And when it's snowing out, that couldn't be more true. Inside warm, outside cold. Simple.

I currently have my fifth load of laundry in the washing machine and I still don't feel like I've made a dent. I guess its officially time to put away all my summer clothes and get the knits and thermals ready. Of course, I don't feel like I even had a chance to enjoy some of my summer time clothes but that is usually the way it goes. And I suppose the major bonus is that I can start my plan of loosing weight for next summer!

Full Plate!

Do you know how in every relationship there is one responsible spouse and one "fun", "laid back", "fly by the seat of my pants" spouse. Well, I think its more than fair to say that in my relationship, I am the responsible spouse. You know, the one who remembers when the
credit card bill is due or to buy toilet paper when we're out. Where as Adam is the one shouting out the bathroom door for me to bring him soap.

I don't dislike being the "responsible one" but it does get kinda old when I'm constantly being told that I nag and mother him too much. I'm not an obsessive person who needs everything in their place but everything in its place just makes for an easier life.

At the moment I am kind of stressed out. There is just too much going on and too much on the schedule ahead. I'm the kind of person that doesn't like problems and especially doesn't like to wallow in problems. Instantly, my main thought is how to handle a problem and make it go away. So when something is out of my control and I'm stuck twiddling my thumbs, I hate it.

Actually, I am a controlling person. Just a little. I just asked Adam if he thought I was controlling and he said that I'm probably just controlling enough to balance out his nonchalant attitude.

Maybe that's how it is supposed to work, maybe that is why we work. We balance each other out, it is true that one of the reasons why I fell in love with him in the first place is because he is different to me. He is more outdoors than I am and exposed me to camping and fishing; I didn't hate the camping but fishing is boring! And I suppose I exposed him to city living; which he hates, none too happy to witness the "social decay of the city" as he so kindly says.

I am obviously a city girl and that is all I've ever really known. However I am looking forward to starting out somewhere new. A different kind of lifestyle and a different pace of living. And honestly, more and more I'm thinking about starting a family and I wouldn't want to do that in a city. I don't think there was anything wrong with it 10 years ago, but now...well, I can only speak of my city and I understand why Adam says there is social decay. It's a crazy situation when groups of teenagers control and bring fear to adults. I think Adam is looking forward to moving to a town where teenagers don't talk back to police officers and don't gather on streets intimidating, mugging or attacking adults. What can I say, that would be a whole new experience to me!

A bird can love a fish but where shall they live?

There seems to be so much going on at the moment or at least so much to think about. Of course, foremost in my mind is the knowledge that Adam will be leaving later this year or early next year. Coming to terms with the fact that I won't be able to be with my husband for a large part of 2011 is quite distressing. We honestly thought that our time of being apart had come to an end but when a bird loves a fish, there is always the question of immigration. Forms and fees and just basically bowing down and begging a country to let you in.

We have a least decided on which visa I'm going to apply for and we have a good idea of how it all works, it doesn't seem as complicated as it did at first glance. And it will mean that I will be issued with a green card on arrival in the US, but of course, as with most things in life, I am not guaranteed to receive it. The fact that Adam and I have been in a relationship since 2004 and married for nineteen months does of course validate our relationship. But it isn't a straightforward, "yes you love him, you're married, of course you want to live together, Come In!". We still have to prove that during the time we've been married on paper, we have actually been living as man and wife. I also have to pass a medical and attend an interview which I'm sure I also have to pass.

It seems that having to live apart for the majority of our relationship wasn't enough of a test because now the US government wants to give our relationship a test of its own.

Oh, I don't know. It's not that I don't understand why they have all these procedures in place. I understand the importance of stopping the convenience marriages, which are only about a green card. I just hate thinking that in a couple months, I'm gonna return to the home I've shared with my husband and he's not going to be there. His clothes will be gone, his Spanish flash cards will no longer clutter my desk and eventually his smell will go too. It's horrible because I've been there before, we've been apart before and it's always painful to say goodbye and not know when we'll see each other again.

I shan't despair just yet, there will be more than enough of these sad entries in the coming weeks. For now, I just want to spend as much time as possible enjoying my husband; who can annoy the crapolla outta me sometimes but looks so cute doing it that I gotta kiss him!

Home Alone

Tonight I had aspirations of spending the night alone. I planned to come home from work, pick up a ready meal and spend the night watching tv and indulging in my latest novel. My mum was invited to a friends 60th birthday party and my dad is throwing a "boxing party". He purchased the much anticipated fight between David Haye and Audley Harrison and my dear husband and brothers are all overjoyed to watch grown men hit each other until one falls over or gives up.
I had better hopes for my evening but as usual, they were dashed. After finishing a long day at work, got to love retail, I called home to find that not only was everyone still there but nobody had thought to get anything for dinner. In my household, preparing dinner is never easy, simply because my mother is a fussy eater. She doesn't eat any of the meals that are easy and quick to prepare after along day. Nor does she eat Chicken or Pasta or Mexican food which is well loved by everyone else. In the end I made a prawn and a chicken stir fry (no chicken for mother, obviously), which I am not ashamed to say was delish!

Eventually, my brother and husband went off to my dads and I was two down, one to go. In fact, as I write my mother is sitting on the other end of the couch snoozing, waiting for her friend to collect her so they can go out. Now, maybe it says more about me than it does her. After all, I don't know too many twenty five year olds who are sitting in on a Saturday night reading Catcher in the Rye. My best friend is out in Soho, drinking and dancing and doing things that I haven't done in years. So the fact that my mother has plans to go out at a time of day that to me is bed time, does make me wonder if I've become a bit of a hermit.

I am not uncomfortable with the idea of spending the night alone. Every once in awhile, I like to spend some time alone. I can't explain why, sometimes I can be very extrovert and sometimes I can be an introvert. And it has been a long time since I've been able to sit at home and just relax alone, catch up on my tv shows or sit and read a book uninterrupted. I like that. I do however think that I haven't been social in a long time. I find many reasons for this or maybe I should say excuses. I can blame it on our economic situation, I really can't afford going out somewhere. Club entrance fees, drinks and a taxi back very quickly add up, especially when my husband drinks alcohol like ginger ale. Also, I don't feel like getting dressed up these days. I can't remember the last time I got my hair done, my eyebrows need threading and thanks to my lack of will power, nothing fits! For some reason, when I get my hair done and eyebrows threaded, I can feel like a million bucks! When I don't, well I might as well put a bag over my face because I don't at all feel confident.

I would like to go out more, I used to go out every weekend and I would have a great time with my friends. Now, my circle of friends has become much smaller. I really only have a hand full of friends whom I value greatly but we don't get to get together very often. Life has become more complicated and a lot more expensive! Adam does enjoy going out and once I get there I do too but in the back of my mind I'm worrying about how much we spend. I'm also aware of all the pretty girls in their pretty dresses with their slim figures and I just feel like a blub! I'm so not going to rant about my weight issues though, nothing happens over night and I have to make a focused effort when I have time and money to get a gym membership again.

I'm back to working full time and I'm excited about the pay cheques and using them towards Adam and I making a life for ourselves. We will be moving to TN, where his parents are. They used to live in FL but moved up there earlier this year to live in the mountains. Neither Adam or I have been there but I am excited to see what life will be like, how I will adjust to living in a new place and having to make friends. Of course, before I can even think about that I have to go through the immigration processes, daunting and expensive! We are attempting to start my application in January so that Adam can stay here until I'm approved and then we can go together. I hope that 2011 will be a completely different year for us, as individuals and as a couple. I hope that we can have a home of our own and continue to grow together as a couple. I would like to get our marriage blessed and have Adams parents there to witness. I hope that Adam finds a wonderful job that he is proud of, I am always aware of how difficult it is for him to be my husband but be unable to provide financially. But when he despairs over it, I remind him that he provides for me in so many other ways. I know, without a doubt, that I couldn't and wouldn't be the person I am today without his constant love and support. I do have a good man.

Finally, at 23:40, my mother is out the door with her friends. I cannot imagine just leaving to go out now, especially when it is cold outside. Did I mention that she's wearing heels...I can't recall the last time I wore heels. Well, finally the house is quiet, all except for my typing and the whirl of the tumble drier. Time to put my feet up, eat a mini chocolate swiss role and watch How I Met Your Mother before bed. Good night all xx

REPOST ADDITION: Exactly 8 minutes after my mum walks out the door and I have the house to myself, my husband and brother return! So much for some alone time...would it be crazy of me to one day get a hotel room just so I could have some time alone!?!

Chumps and Husbands

Chumps always make the best husbands...All the unhappy marriages come from the husbands having brains.
P.G. Woodhouse
The Adventures of Sally (1920)

I came across the above quote and found it humorous, only because it is exactly the kind of quote that my husband would hate!

It has been a few days since I've blogged now, I suppose it is true to say that life gets in the way but it is also the fact that I often find that I do not have much to write about. My blog is mostly details of my life as opposed to be a themed blog and at the minute I feel like there isn't much happening. Of course, Adam and I are still in the process of us preparing for me to move Stateside with him, which I am excited about. It was difficult letting my family know, of course they knew we planned to make the move eventually, but the decision was made sooner than most expected. My nephew, bless his heart, said to me "No, you're moving in a few years". Because that is what I've always said and he didn't seem too happy with the idea that a few years had come two years earlier than scheduled.

I'm not sure what my last post was about but Adam is doing OK. He didn't have to have his jaw wired shut, which he is happy about, but he is having difficulties in following the docs orders and sticking to soft foods. He doesn't like the thought of eating just soups and noodles, he's used to eating lots and for him soup just doesn't cut it. So he often cheats and has what the rest of us has, which then results in him being in pain. I'm used to him not listening to my advice, even though it frequently proves to be the right advice, but his not listening to the doctor is just silly. I'm not sure why men have to make everything so much more difficult than in necessary!

We were watching TV tonight and it was basically a show about three families who have a child with special needs. Autism, Downs Syndrome and EB.
It was really emotional to watch because you saw not only these children have pain or face difficulties but you also saw these parents struggle. I cannot imagine what it must be like to know that your child is sick because there was a 1 in 500,000 chance that both you and your partner had the same recessive gene. Or to wonder whether vaccinating your child caused her autism. And of course, to struggle with the decision of whether to continue a pregnancy if you know that your child will be born with special needs. I couldn't imagine and hope I don't have to one day face making a decision like that. And I'm not sure if I could have the strength to take care of a child with special needs, especially if my child would be in constant pain. Perhaps, nobody thinks they would be strong enough until faced with the possibility. Sometimes you can have a perfectly healthy child and an accident leaves them completely dependant upon you for the rest of their life. The one thing I always think about is, what happens when they child becomes an adult but you are no longer around to take care of them? Who could you trust to take care of your child the way you would, could you believe that a friend or distant relative could be as patient as you and not neglect them in anyway? Food for though I guess.

We're hoping to get out the house tomorrow and do a little exploring of London town, but the weather has been so crappy of late, we'll have to see how it goes. And I shall take the time to reflect on my day and attempt to come back with a decent post!

Turn your lights down low

This one I like because it's all the men in my life, though my Dad isn't in the picture he's taking it.



My family. Brothers and dad along the back, mum on the right. Sister and BFF in the purple and my BFFs mum looking at her camera



Adam and I and my parents.




I've just been looking through my wedding pictures online, looking at them and remembering that day makes me smile. I think for the some time, I was unable to appreciate how special the day was because it wasn't "the wedding of my dreams". We didn't have much money and had to make things work as best we could. My dad did the photographs (as he is a professional photographer) my best friends mum made our wedding cakes and my mum made the food. It was a registry office ceremony, then back to ours for food and drink. We didn't have a traditional first dance and I didn't throw my bouquet, I didn't wear white (though for the record I could have!). But for all the things we could have done differently with more money, my wedding day was truly special. Primarily because it was the start of Adam and I making a life together, but also because I had all of my family and close friends there. All happy for us, celebrating with us. And though I wasn't slim and I didn't remember to retouch my makeup throughout the day, it was such a wonderful day. The only thing I would change, would be to have Adams parents there. Due to financial restraints coupled with the fact that Adams mom has never flown before, they weren't able to make it. But I do hope that once we're settled in America we can have our wedding vows blessed and they can be present then.

Thank you for your kind words and prayers for Adam. Right now my husband is haunted. He lay awake last night crippled by rage. He finds it very difficult to believe that the police will find or do anything about the group who attacked him. They do live in our neighbourhood, he has seen them before and in all likelihood, he will see them again. This is where my fear comes in, because with a broken jaw it doesn't take a hard hit to make it worse. Of course there is the fear that they might have weapons next time. And ultimately the fear that if he does come across them again, in that moment common sense will leave him and he will instead lash out in anger. It is such a tense situation right now.

Nothing is helped by the fact that the hospital have done nothing at all to help him. After all the hours we spent at A&E, he left only with painkillers, the same ones I was given by my GP when I had Piles. The doctor told us on Sunday that we could receive a phone call the following day so that he could meet with the specialist who would decide what to do. Monday came and went and they didn't call. I tried calling all afternoon and didn't get anyone who could help. When I called again today, the receptionist couldn't find the file on the system. It turns out that the doctors are supposed to email the receptionist and let her know who to contact, except the doctor hadn't done that. She went to track him down and said she could make an appointment for next week Monday. This is just for the consultation, not for any procedure which would need to be done. I explained that Monday is not good enough, he is in more pain as he heard something crack and he is barely able to eat. So tomorrow we go in as an emergency to see the consultant.

My feelings towards my own country have soured greatly. It's not that I don't read stories on the news about crime and bad hospital treatment, I do, it is just different when it is someone you know and love. I cannot understand a system where it is acceptable to leave someone for this amount of time with a broken jaw. In pain and unable to eat properly. Sometimes, he wakes in the night because he rolls onto the broken side of his face. I could very easily right now, rant about how badly this system is overused and understaffed. About how this country is in decline because of a socialist system that takes from those who contribute and gives to those who don't. But I won't, because on Politics, I am pretty much a tube of Pringles. Once I pop, I don't stop. I will say though that lately my political affiliations have begun to shift, as I don't think that governments are really recognising the problems in societies. And when that happens and average people feel like their problems are being ignored, that's when extremist parties take hold. We're already seeing it in the rest of Europe and The Tea Party in America are starting to overshadow moderate Republicans. I honestly think its about time that government wakes up, but also time that individuals wake up and start taking control of their lives. It isn't up to the government or schools to raise children and instill in them what is right and wrong, it is up to the parents. Too many people don't know how to parent, some because they are children themselves. But if we don't start raising the future generation correctly, then there isn't any hope for the world, let alone our countries!

WOW, for someone who wasn't going to talk politics, I sure did talk a lot of politics! lol!