New Start

 

I spent last night and this morning filling out an application for an office job. I've never really had an office job before, I'm usually right there in the pit dealing with customers on a face to face basis. Which I like, but this job will be paying more and is only three days a week so would fit around my current work and any other engagements. I really just want something to supplement my income so that I can save money for Adam to come over. It would also mean that I could afford to pay for driving lessons and keep my personal trainer. Adam tells me I'm rich for having one but that isn't the case at all. I just know that on my own I wouldn't be able to shift the weight and I need a little help. Same way I need a driving instructor, I can't do it on my own. I don't think there's anything wrong with asking for help when we need it. In fact, I don't think people do it often enough.

I'm not sure if I'm seeing a body difference from going to the gym. I haven't been weighing myself simply because I'm too scared. Course, I tell people its because I've been gaining muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. But really I'm afraid to find out that after all my hard work I haven't lost anything or that i've even gained weight. And I'll tell you, the gym can be really hard horrible work. Once I managed to get past all the women in the changing rooms who are all too comfortable with being naked in front of everyone. I then have to get over my insecurities about running on the treadmill and having my butt fly everywhere. Or sweating like an animal when the old guy next to me has been at it for an hour. It can just be tough! Still, I'm hopeful that by the next time Adam sees me I'll be super sexy and super slim. One can hope, right?