It's not that I don't like you...but virtually, I don't want to be friends anymore. UNFRIENDED!
When it comes to
Facebook, I’m ruthless. I don’t hesitate to unfriend and always try to keep my
friends list under 100 people. I truly don’t understand how some people can
have 500 Facebook friends. Those people and often people they’re friends with,
see all the information you post. And let’s be honest, most of us over share on
Facebook or accidently post things we don’t mean to at least once.
I’m not
anti-Facebook in any way, though I did delay jumping on the band wagon
believing it was just another fad and not quite wanting to give up My Space.
Now that I’ve moved to the US, I appreciate Facebook even more as a tool to
keep in touch with friends and family in other parts of the world. I get to see
what my friends are up to and feel a little more connected to them when they
post good news or pictures of a wild night out.
But I’m sure we
all have a few people on our friends list who are only there because we feel
obligated: That colleague that you have no desire to see outside of work but is
friends with just about everyone in the building. Or the neighbor who found
your dog that one time and now thinks that means you’re friends, when you
really don’t want your relationship to extend pass a polite nod or wave as you
rush in the door. And don’t get me started on your best friends annoying friend
who you met that one time at that one thing, who suddenly thinks all three of
you should be best friends. The list goes on.
When it comes to
Facebook friends, my first rule is this; if
you wouldn’t be real life friends with them, why be virtual friends? Now, I
know this might seem harsh. But why keep someone on your friends list, when you
know if you were to see them out at the mall, you’d rush the other way to avoid
them. Sure, they might play Farmville or Chefville and occasionally throw a
monkey your way but if that is the extent of your relationship, is that what
now qualifies as a friend?
I do periodically
go through my friends list with the purpose of removing people. Those who I
don’t talk to or don’t know very well but accepted their friend request because
for two weeks seven months ago, I was going to be seeing them often. My
reasoning behind such a task is not to be mean (though I do like the power of
the unfriend button) but to simply protect myself.
Remember that totally awesome night you had
with your girlfriends? Remember the photos you were tagged in? No, you didn’t
look great but six too many tequila shots will do that to you. Still, you keep
them on your Facebook page because they make you feel nostalgic for days gone
by. Well, remember
everyone on your friends list can see that.
Remember the photos you took of
your kids playing on the beach last summer, little Madison looked so cute in a
pink frilly two-piece. You couldn’t wait to upload your vacation pictures so
you’re friends could be jealous and your MIL could see pictures of the kids
finally wearing the Disney Princess t-shirts she bought four months ago. Well,
everyone on your friends list can see those photos.
Remember that
picture your husband took on your romantic getaway, the one where you’re
simultaneously showing too much leg and too much cleavage…just me then? Well,
by now I hope you’ve got the point that everyone can see that.
Sure, there are
privacy settings that can be altered. To that I say, who has the time and who
can figure them out! Facebook is constantly changing their privacy setting and
I believe it’s in the hope that we the consumers won’t be able to figure it
out.
It’s nothing
personal when I unfriend someone. It’s not because I can’t stand the constant
request to play this game or that – I can block those. It’s not even because
I’m tired of the almost hourly posts about the cute thing your puppy just did –
I’m guilty of that myself. Really, it’s just that I know I can’t cultivate 500
friendships. Imagine the hours it would take to really be friends with all
those people on your list. If you were to stop by each page and read what
friend number 280 was up to today…really, oatmeal for breakfast, me too, I feel
so close to you number 280…Hardly riveting, then think of all the real world things you’re
missing out on.
I recently read
an article about a college graduate who plans to meet all 788 people on his
friends list, to discover whether they’re really friends or merely online
acquaintances. My first thought was that he has too much time on his hands but
it turns out he’s received funding for this to be turned into a documentary and
photography exhibit. Yay for him! What I’m interested in seeing is if at the
end of his little documentary, he still has 788 Facebook friends.
