Virtually Best Friends

It's not that I don't like you...but virtually, I don't want to be friends anymore. UNFRIENDED!

 

When it comes to Facebook, I’m ruthless. I don’t hesitate to unfriend and always try to keep my friends list under 100 people. I truly don’t understand how some people can have 500 Facebook friends. Those people and often people they’re friends with, see all the information you post. And let’s be honest, most of us over share on Facebook or accidently post things we don’t mean to at least once.

I’m not anti-Facebook in any way, though I did delay jumping on the band wagon believing it was just another fad and not quite wanting to give up My Space. Now that I’ve moved to the US, I appreciate Facebook even more as a tool to keep in touch with friends and family in other parts of the world. I get to see what my friends are up to and feel a little more connected to them when they post good news or pictures of a wild night out. 

But I’m sure we all have a few people on our friends list who are only there because we feel obligated: That colleague that you have no desire to see outside of work but is friends with just about everyone in the building. Or the neighbor who found your dog that one time and now thinks that means you’re friends, when you really don’t want your relationship to extend pass a polite nod or wave as you rush in the door. And don’t get me started on your best friends annoying friend who you met that one time at that one thing, who suddenly thinks all three of you should be best friends. The list goes on. 

When it comes to Facebook friends, my first rule is this; if you wouldn’t be real life friends with them, why be virtual friends? Now, I know this might seem harsh. But why keep someone on your friends list, when you know if you were to see them out at the mall, you’d rush the other way to avoid them. Sure, they might play Farmville or Chefville and occasionally throw a monkey your way but if that is the extent of your relationship, is that what now qualifies as a friend?

I do periodically go through my friends list with the purpose of removing people. Those who I don’t talk to or don’t know very well but accepted their friend request because for two weeks seven months ago, I was going to be seeing them often. My reasoning behind such a task is not to be mean (though I do like the power of the unfriend button) but to simply protect myself. 

Remember that totally awesome night you had with your girlfriends? Remember the photos you were tagged in? No, you didn’t look great but six too many tequila shots will do that to you. Still, you keep them on your Facebook page because they make you feel nostalgic for days gone by. Well, remember everyone on your friends list can see that. 

Remember the photos you took of your kids playing on the beach last summer, little Madison looked so cute in a pink frilly two-piece. You couldn’t wait to upload your vacation pictures so you’re friends could be jealous and your MIL could see pictures of the kids finally wearing the Disney Princess t-shirts she bought four months ago. Well, everyone on your friends list can see those photos.

 

Remember that picture your husband took on your romantic getaway, the one where you’re simultaneously showing too much leg and too much cleavage…just me then? Well, by now I hope you’ve got the point that everyone can see that.

Sure, there are privacy settings that can be altered. To that I say, who has the time and who can figure them out! Facebook is constantly changing their privacy setting and I believe it’s in the hope that we the consumers won’t be able to figure it out. 

It’s nothing personal when I unfriend someone. It’s not because I can’t stand the constant request to play this game or that – I can block those. It’s not even because I’m tired of the almost hourly posts about the cute thing your puppy just did – I’m guilty of that myself. Really, it’s just that I know I can’t cultivate 500 friendships. Imagine the hours it would take to really be friends with all those people on your list. If you were to stop by each page and read what friend number 280 was up to today…really, oatmeal for breakfast, me too, I feel so close to you number 280…Hardly riveting, then think of all the real world things you’re missing out on.

I recently read an article about a college graduate who plans to meet all 788 people on his friends list, to discover whether they’re really friends or merely online acquaintances. My first thought was that he has too much time on his hands but it turns out he’s received funding for this to be turned into a documentary and photography exhibit. Yay for him! What I’m interested in seeing is if at the end of his little documentary, he still has 788 Facebook friends.