I can't believe this could be the end...

When I ended my long distance relationship with the husband, for the second time, by moving to the US, I didn't think about the long distance relationships I'd be starting. With my best friends. Moving overseas and leaving behind everyone I've ever known, really messes with the social life. Trying to build a life in a new city, state or country isn't easy. I'm thankful I have the husband for support but it is a lonely process. In the past, whenever I was going through anything, I'd turn to the husband of course but also to my girlfriends. I've been best friends with the same group of ladies since high school. They've seen me through more relationship dilemmas and bad fashion decisions than any girl should face in a lifetime. Every awesome birthday I've celebrated usually involved sneaky shots at the bar with these ladies. And whilst we've always had the kind of friendship where we could go months without seeing each other, only to pick up where we left off, it's suddenly different now that I'm in the US. Because who knows when we'll see each other to pick our relationship back up again. 

I know that if I want to maintain these friendships that are truly precious to me, I have to put in an effort to stay in communication. This means more than a birthday FB message and a card at Christmas. 

Lilly and I are constantly messaging back and forth on FB. Nothing big happens to either of us that we don't share and if we happen to go more than 3 days without messaging, I instantly think it's been too long. A phone call is a big deal because getting hold of calling cards isn't cheap or easy. And a video chat really is a special occasion because she doesn't have a built in web cam. Still, we're both committed to making the effort to ensure our friendship survives. And to be honest, I feel just as close, if not closer, than before I left. What we have now works on maintaining our relationship until we see each other next. We have no delusions that it will be any time soon and it's tough when I can't be there to support her during difficult times or celebrate with her when something amazing happens. Still, I know and she knows, that no matter what we'll be there. 

I feel completely different about Sophia. She and I were always so close. Not to say we didn't have our moments. Like when she told me she didn't think it was a good idea for me to date Adam and we didn't speak for awhile. Still, there wasn't anything we went through that wasn't softened by dinner and wine together. We saw each other sporadically, talked every now and then but always turned to each other for the big stuff. A break-up or cheating boyfriend was just another reason to hit the town together. When she got drunk and threw up all over herself, I helped her wash the chunks out of her hair. She made every birthday I had that much better. I know so much about her and she about me. When our parents got sick or passed away, we had each other to lean on and remember the good times with.

However lately I feel like our friendship isn't what it used to be. I don't know if it's down to the changes in her life or the distance between us. Or maybe it's a combination. Perhaps the fact that a telephone call isn't cheap, makes her hesitate when she needs someone to talk to and cry with. The fact that we can't get together to drink wine and spill all the details of our life means we don't share as much. I feel so disconnected from her and it saddens me. I wish that she could open up to me. And I wish that we had some wine so my advice doesn't sound so harsh. When we were together this summer, I loved spending time with her but things weren't like they were before. Perhaps she is changing and I'm not there to change with her. Don't they say that changing together is the key to a successful relationship. 

I don't want this to be the end of our friendship. I'm resolved to kick-start our relationship even if it means bombarding her with emails and messages. I'll have to make that extra effort to search out a phone card or get an international calling plan. And if she still doesn't get around to buying a web cam, I'll surprise her with one. I guess friendships are like relationships, there is no blueprint on how to make it work. Every friendship is unique, what works for some won't work for others. I knew what worked for us when we were twenty-five and living in the same country, I guess I need to figure out what works for us as the people we are today.

*For privacy, names have been changed*