Me? A beautiful Butterfly?

I watched a documentary where a caterpillar changed into a butterfly. It was messy and looked painful but the whole process was over in about two weeks. To say that I feel like I'm in the process of changing from a Caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly would be too simple an analogy. Instead I shall say that I feel like my life is stuck at the painful chrysalis stage. Not so much on pause but on a constant replay setting. I don't often watch documentaries that aren't about human beings and no doubt Adam had bullied or blackmailed me into watching with him. I think the reason that it sticks out in my memory is that Monarch Butterflies are so beautiful and distinctive. What is not to love?
Sometimes, I wonder why I bother to make plans for myself, for my life, when they always fall through in the most spectacular of ways. But if I never try, how can I possibly expect to get that replay button unstuck and move on to the beautiful butterfly stage of my life?

Most of my days are spent job hunting, which has to be the fastest route to that high rise ledge overlooking traffic. It is depressing and soul crushing. This is a fact. Perhaps, I did not quite appreciate the struggle Adam had trying to find a job in London. In fact, I know I didn't. I do now.

We are still in the early stages of our second immigration journey, just over two months in. In this amount of time Adams visa to England was approved. We have also seen a wonderful update on the embassy website, notifying applicants to expect the process to take 10 months. About 4 months longer than we expected it to take. Not very happy about not living with my husband again until possibly November. We're going to try and work out a visit or two between now and then but easier said than done when I don't have a decent job and summer is the most expensive time to fly.

I think the reason I haven't updated in so long is because I am always worried that my entries are going to be hostile. Which of course this is. I am incredibly frustrated that I haven't found a job and that Adam and I will have to be apart for so much longer. So I shall end my journal post with 5 things that I am happy about, lets see!

1) In about 15 minutes, Adam will be off work and I can call
2) I can fit into an old cocktail dress again
3) This weekend my niece and nephew will be staying over, they take my mind off everything!
4) I finally got around to updating, maybe I can make it regular? (too much too soon? baby steps)
5) There is a Cherry fat free Activa yogurt in the fridge with my name on it!