2014 The Year of Cliches

Most changes don't happen over night. Contrary to the belief that the difference between December 31st and January 1st results in the sudden desire to start using that gym membership. Or that somewhere in those last twenty-four little hours, a ten year addiction to cigarettes will disappear. Most changes are subtle. It's the same reason you thought that second (third) cupcake, wouldn't have any repercussions. Had you (me) taken a bite and watched your (my) rear end spread a cm wider, we...let's face it..I wouldn't be in the fat pants that I am today.

Still the changes I'm thinking of aren't just physical. Spurred on by a brand new year, I once again reflect on my life. My career aspirations, my marriage, my friendships, myself. I realize how much I've changed over the past few years. I think of all the ways I hope to change in this coming year, perhaps in ways that I won't notice until I'm once again reflecting on years gone by.

Since we've started this new life in Alabama, I've really thrown myself into trying to make friends and build a life here. Having been unemployed for the past five months, it's been difficult. Not only am I financially limited but I'm not getting to interact with people on a daily basis. I created a meetup group a couple months back and through that group, I've been able to meet some wonderful and fun ladies my age. Some of whom I saw the new year in with. I've never been one to do anything special for New Years Eve. If I stayed up late enough to toast the coming year, that was cause enough to celebrate. This year we didn't make it home until the early hours of the morning. I'd call that a 2014 success. 

I have lots of things I hope to achieve this year. I have lots of things I hope to achieve every year. This year however, I'm older and wiser. I realize that not everything works out the way that you plan or hope it will. Life is fantastic at throwing you curve balls. And cliche though it maybe, you truly do have to learn how to roll with the punches. Dust yourself off and try again. I get knocked down but I get up again. Learn to go with the flow. I think you get it now.

2013 was a messy year. I missed my husband when we were in different states. My husband drove me to my limits when we were in the same state. I missed my family like crazy and a three week visit just wasn't enough. I missed my best friends who went through the hardest crap of their own and I felt powerless to help. I struggled with feeling rejected and worthless as I applied and interviewed for countless companies that couldn't appreciate my awesomeness. I felt misunderstood by my husband who wasn't the right kind of sympathetic to my feelings of not having a job, and missing my family, and feeling like America wasn't the place for me. Like always I had body issues because unlike I planned at the start of the year, I didn't loose 60 lbs.  

This year, I know things won't go swimmingly. I mean, where would be the fun in that right. Imagine, you want something to happen...and it does! Sounds boring. The one thing I've learnt from 2013 is that I will survive (Gloria Gaynor style). I have the most wonderful family and friends who I can lean on. My mum is always there at the end of the phone or my computer screen. My best friends can overlook their own issues to support me and drag me out of my dark moments. I'm healthy and fortunate to have a husband who loves me and at present is the only one bringing home any kind of bacon. I have an awesome puppy who accepts the fact that I don't always allow her on the bed but still jumps up when I'm feeling low and want a cuddle. 

I know 2014 isn't going to be easy and it might not necessarily be better. I have my list of things I want to change. Resolutions if you will. I know that they might not all happen and certainly not necessarily how I would want them to but I'm prepared for the disappointment. After all, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.