There were two in the bed

For the past couple of months, sleeping with my husband has become most unpleasant. 

Like many people, when I sleep, I snore.
I don't believe I snore loudly. Being a lady and all, I'm sure it's just a delicate and cute snore. However it keeps the husband awake. So whilst I'm lost in la-la land, dreaming of being slim and owning an extensive Michael Kors handbag collection. The husband is laying there wanting to smother me with a pillow.

Of course, he can't do that. With me dead and him in jail, what would become of Penny?

So instead, he wakes me up and tells me to roll over.

In the beginning, I was sympathetic to his plight. He has a physically demanding job and wakes up a the butt crack of dawn. However, after weeks of being shoved awake, sometimes multiple times in the night, I finally lost it. I got mad, said some choice words and then took my pillow to the foot of the bed.

If we had a second bedroom, believe me, we would be one of those couples. We have such different sleeping habits and practices, it's a wonder how we've made it this far. He likes to sleep with a fan, partly for the cool air but mostly for the sound. I have to be warm and toasty. I don't want to feel the fan blow on me and heaven help anyone who uncovers my feet during the night. At one point, I had a mini heater on my side of the bed and he had a mini fan on his. I really can see the benefit of couples having separate beds or bedrooms. I'd have all the blankets I wanted. Could snore as loud as I like. And the scheduling of inmate times would mean I'd always have my legs shaved in advance. Alas, that dream is not a possibility for us one bedroom renters.

Instead, after weeks of us sleeping top and tail, and my starting to become more acquainted with his feet than any wife wants to be, I decided action must be taken. I picked up some nose strips which I'm hoping will lessen at least one of the sounds my body emits during the night!