Friday, 30 September 2016

Effen Vodka I Love You

Friends, I absolutely need to head to bed. It's 10:44 as I type this, which is pretty late for a 31 year old. I turned 31 in June. Officially "into" my thirties. For some reason, let's say Vodka neat, I thought I should write a short blog post before bed. For one fleeting moment I believed I had a little nugget of blogger gold that needed to be shared lest it be lost forever in the quagmire that is my mind. But now that i'm typing. Like RIGHT NOW that I'm typing, I have no idea why. I think it got lost sooner than expected. Those fleeting moments. Gone so quickly. I am reminded of a fleeting moment but not one that I am brave enough, honest enough to talk about here. A moment of temptation that seems to stretch on forever. One that I can play with and romanticize in anyway I so choose but I am certain that is not why I returned to blogger with vodka goggles. 

I am refreshing my mind of all that has transpired in the last hour or so, which really isn't much besides vodka and Hulu, which is great BTW. Thursty hates when people use BTW, FYI, SMH. I think because he doesn't know what they all mean. Good ole Thurst. He's in bed right now, where I am about to be going because tomorrow morning I'll be getting up early to go to a baby wearing dance class. Which is pretty...I don't want to say sick or twisted or messed up but I can't find the right word. And I don't think Shift F7 will help because I don't know what the word is when you want to be pregnant but don't want to be pregnant but really do. I think the word for that is sick, in the head. So anyway, I'll be going to a baby wearing dance class because I have an amazing friend who does wear a baby and teach other women line dancing moves and unites those women together. But it was much easier to look at those women and not feel pangs of envy when I was in my twenties, still on birth control and not ready to settle down. But let's face it, Thursty & I are 31 and we've been together long enough to have at least had an accident baby. So, now when people ask me when I'm going to have children, I say; "maybe that's not in God's plan for me" which is a backwards way of saying my deepest fear "maybe I can't". Which I know, is NOT what I came here to talk about but is maybe just a little reminder for those people who do ask other women, when they're going to have kids, not everyone can. I don't know that we can't. But I do know that every time I'm late and take a test, I hope for a little cross or smiley face that never appears. And it's hard enough for me to reconcile that disappointment and grief with myself, let alone let some outsider in. Not everyone has the same journey.

What's really sad is that I think I came here to talk about TV. Which makes sense when I consider my earlier reference to Hulu (did I reference Hulu? Because I thought I did. At least, I meant to). That and Netflix is how we watch shows. I only managed to squeeze in Law & Order and Empire. 

Law & Order absolutely did the whole "Making A Murderer" episode. Adam and I only watched a few of those episodes before our irritation got the better of us. I believe in the justice system. I know it fails but I don't want to watch it fail. It's like pregnancy out of wedlock back in the day, yes it happens, but let's turn a blind eye. I've also just caught up on Call The Midwife on Netflix. As a result Thursty says I've been talking in a Cockney accent. Which I'll take any day over an American accent. And also explains my previous sentence. I feel like a Presidential Candidate, saying dumb things without anyone to correct me. 
Caught up on Empire, which I hate catching up on, simply because now I have to wait until next week until the next episode. Let's just release all the episodes at once and let me...I want to find a word that says I can control myself in watching them when really I know I'd be like an alcoholic on my first day sober. Comment with that word because I don't know it. Or sobriety. Vodka is my homegirl. Anyway, Empire blew my mind and had me singing Biz Markie "Just A Friend" but quietly, because Thursty is asleep. 

I can't lie. I don't remember the point of this post. I can't remember or find the words I want to use. And Maggie is mad at me & ready for bed. About a paragraph ago, she came and laid her head on the laptop to say "enough is enough" ...did you sing the song too? You know the one right? If you don't we can't be friends anymore. We're too different. If you do know the song, comment below and you'll win a prize. But don't just Google it. Google makes liars out of us all. 

So this was a post written on some Effen Vodka. Which I can thank Holley & Nichole for knowing me so well. Because Vodka is fantastic but it's even better when I can blame that Effen Vodka! 

*Also, this has not been proof read but I did write it with 40 proof! ;) 

** Also, I don't know what proof Effin Vodka is but it tastes good to me :) 

***I'm not going to bed but going to shop the Kate Spade 75% off surprise sale because it's only on for the next 35 minutes. I tried to be strong but the Effen Vodka made me do it, for realz, it's a conspiracy between the liquor stores and the expensive handbag makers.

****Last one. I promise...and it's gone from my mind...

Hah! Oh yeah! I didn't proof read this. Don't judge. I'm not dumb just drink. I'm English, it's our language and we know how to use it. And how to handle our Beer. Let's blame the Russians and Polish for our Vodka. Man, I really am turning into an American Presidential Candidate. Blaming my mistakes on others. Bam What! (check out Liv & Maddie, such a simple time). And....POST!

1 comment:

ballst said...

"Oh baby you, gots what I need... but you say he's just a friend" <--- and yes, that was done by memory, not google, nor under the influence of effin vodka! 👍 ❤️

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