Christmas Blues

Christmas has always been my favourite holiday. Its always possessed a magical feeling to me and I just remember them being full of love and fun. Of course, now my brothers have families of their own so there are fewer of us together for dinner. But they come around on Boxing Day and we exchange gifts and eat leftovers. So for me, as someone who loves Christmas, the best possible gift ever would be to have Adam here. We've never spent a Christmas together and every year we always say to each other, next year. next year. next year. Well, I guess our first Christmas together will have to be next year. Even though I've got everything ready to send to him for his visa, even though we've never been this close to getting his visa before. I just don't think its going to happen in time for Christmas. And even if it does, I just don't think we'll be able to afford the December flight prices. Common sense dictates that we should save money and book in January. But Christmas doesn't fall in January. It falls in December and I won't get the Christmas magic of sharing my favourite day with my family and my fiance. I guess its just a reminder of so much of my life. Its either something with Adam or something with my family, but the two are never mixed. I guess I'm feeling a little lonely and sorry for myself. But it doesn't help when all they play at work are Christmas love songs. Please Come Home For Christmas. Lonesome This Christmas Without You. And of course, ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU...