Mirror Mirror on the wall...

Today I'm in the mood for Pink. The artist, not the colour. I guess I go through periods of listening to different artists or the same songs over and over again. The past couple days I was into Musiq Soulchild in a big way, just the song "Just Friends". Today I suddenly got the urge to listen to Pink "So What!" and so I've been rocking out to her lyrics and awesome vocals. 

In order to get everything ready for my visa I had to get my passport updated with my married name. Yes, I've been married for two years and I'm only now getting around to it and it is purely because I have to. The reason why, they charge £77.50 for a new passport. All my detail are the same except that I got married but I have to pay the full fee for a new passport, not a happy bunny but Adam wired me the money for it. An anniversary gift, one that'll last for 10 years. I went today to get the photo taken and of course now you can't smile in photos. I honestly don't feel like it's me when I'm not smiling in a picture, it is very rare. I don't like my face when I'm not smiling. I took a couple non-smiling shots at home on my own camera, attempting to figure out Tyra Banks trademark "smize". And of course my lazy eye just pops off the page. Perhaps I don't have an overly noticeable lazy eye but I can see it. Most annoying. And then once I got started taking pics I just kept going, making silly faces. What can I say, it was a slow morning!

When I finally head over to the post office to get the passport checked and sent the lady behind the counter (who was the slowest server I've encountered for a long time, she really pushed my kind button) spent a good five minutes scrutinising my picture. Now, the picture in my passport is old. It was taken when I was 17 and had to get my passport in a hurry for a trip to Atlanta with my politics class. It's a horrible picture. Imagine SideShow Bob from the Simpsons in a red and white prison/rugby top. I shall have to post a picture when I get the old passport back. Anyway, she didn't think it was me or she thought I looked too different, I don't know but when someone else came along she asked for a second opinion. The gentleman looked at the picture and said "of course it'll be fine, you can see by the cheeks". The cheeks? What's wrong with my cheeks? Ok, I am being naive, they are huge! In high school people would grab them because they'd stretch so far. I used to fit whole burgers in my mouth. Basically, I have a big mouth in both contexts. But it was never a facial hang up, it wouldn't make the list of things I loved about my face but it wouldn't have made the hate list either. For me, cheeks are like my Philtrum. Just there, no feelings. I shall have to remember to post some pictures from my goofing around earlier.

I've plans to meet some friends for drinks tomorrow. I'm seriously starting to think that my friends and I should find places to meet that isn't a drinking establishment! And officially I'm getting excited for my birthday. If I keep focusing on celebrating and it possibly being the last one in London with my friends for some time to come, then I can forget about the fact that my life is nowhere near where I'd like it to be. Trying hard to keep the depression at bay. Distraction is my friend. The last few years I have not been excited about turning older, not because I'm getting old but because I'm constantly playing catch up with where I am and where I should be. Or at least where I'd imagined I'd be. I'm a planner and though I constantly end up disappointed, you know what they say "If you don't plan, you plan to fail" or something like that. 

I think you can really see that one eye is droopy! Maybe it's normal and I just need to exercise this muscle more? Maybe I should start winking! 

I've been experimenting with a centre part, it's something a little different. Usually I have a side-parting, which might not be interesting to most but hey I'm shaking things up for the summer!

This is more the style of the passport pictures. Looking straight ahead and no smiles.

OMGoodness! Seriously, if I stare at these pictures long enough I turn into a self-hating person. Not liking my nost and my face is generally FAT!

I think that last one is what I call my KISS look! Oh dear.

My brother has officially left High School, he's only going back to take his exams and then its off to college! I can't believe how quickly the last 16 years have gone by. I remember taking him to school before going off to college in the mornings myself. I remember him being an annoying but fun toddler. When he was younger I nicknamed him my Shadow, because everywhere I went, he went. I'm not sure when he stopped being my shadow and became a teenager who overshadows me. Such is life I guess, the children who once looked up to us for protection and guidance grow up. I'm very proud of him and I'm sure he'll do great in his exams. Don't tell him but he's growing into a wonderful young man.

My now 16 year old brother. My mum took these pictures and needless to say she's not handy with a camera. And also, she's pretty blind without her glasses! Below, my bro and a couple of his classmates.