The Wrong Side of 25

It has been some time since I've posted, let me say this first I had a Birthday! I'm really not sure why I sound excited about that. The lead up to it was depressing to say the least and the actual day was no better. And of course, missing the husband and wishing he were here to help me celebrate did not make the day better. In fact, I think there were secret tears on my birthday so it wasn't the best day ever.
The fact that I am now on the wrong side of twenty-five leaves me constantly pondering on the direction of my life and my inability to learn from past experiences. Obviously, I did not expect to wake up and be wiser but I was expecting the courage to do things differently.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

We used to say this prayer in High School and it suddenly popped into my head. Perhaps I should start saying it again.
I don't know what it is about turning older that leaves you questioning everything you've done and what direction your life is going in. Perhaps for people who are satisfied, even happy with their lives, the idea of dreading a birthday or questioning yourself is completely foreign.
I was discussing with both my best friends, why life seems to be so difficult. It seems that no matter how much we try, life keeps smacking us back down again. On the eve of every new year we start out optimistic and excited and then very quickly a spanner in thrown in our direction and we end up flat on our faces. Earlier today the optimist that is still hiding somewhere inside me, reminded me that what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger and for now I am happy to carry that with me. It isn't the amount of times that I get smacked down but the amount of times I keep getting back on my feet. And honestly, those people who only ever have things go right for them would be a broken down mess if ever something went wrong. Me, I have experience of things always going wrong. Which is why I'm incredibly appreciative of when they go right.

I have officially been approved for the first part of my immigration journey. Our I-130 was approved June 20th and I received an email letting us know June 27th. I was so worried that we would be "smacked down" (a new phrase I love) and stuck living in two different countries which honestly, would be unimaginable. Not to seem ungrateful but it has been a long time coming and I was getting very anxious, especially when I saw that people who filed after us were overtaking us in the process. It seems that being in the unlucky bunch who were sent to Rome to speed up processing times, ended up slowing us down. But better late than never. I actually feel like the end is in sight and that hopefully in the next three to four months, I will be with my husband again. Living a totally different life style in a totally different country.

Over the weekend I went out with some friends to celebrate my birthday (as if I could do a post after so long without a single picture). Nothing fancy, just dinner at one of my favourite Italian restaurants. Adam and I would go and eat there when we could afford to have "date night" and we both love their Calamari and stuffed mushrooms. Anyway, good food, great company and lots of wine...what more could a girl ask for to celebrate her birthday?

Susana, Me and Charlotte. Two of my best girlies since High School.

Myself and Charlotte, she really does help to keep me sane.

I also want to mention that my brother is officially finished with High School. All his exams are over and he has the summer to enjoy himself and wait anxiously for the results. Of course, to end their time a school a Prom was held. I think prom fashions have changed a lot since I was in high school. I had a long powder blue dress with a wrap and pin corsage (and no date) but these days it seems more of a party atmosphere where any kind of dress goes. My brothers suit was what I personally like to call "ridiculous" in its pricing but what can I say, he is my mothers baby. 

My brother and his date, they've been friends since they were about 7

 I hope to be back later this week with another entry because I have so much more to say but for now, I'm gonna call the husband and relax with a good book and a glass of wine.