Today's issue is literally one of, if Adam cannot find a job soon, are we both going to move to America?
I'm not sure why I've phrased that as a question, perhaps my doing that is telling of how I actually feel. Adam has decided to return to America if the work situation doesn't change. The problem is that I'm not ready to do that yet. We've always discussed it in terms of staying here for three more years, then applying for me to move there.
The thought of having to leave early next year does not bring me any kind of joy, mostly just feelings of fear and regret. I don't want to have to quit my course. I honestly feel like its unfair of me to have to give up on my passion, being encouraged to write as school has been so good for my soul. But, I am aware that Adam has given up a lot to move countries and struggle each day just to get by. Ultimately, the question in regards to school is whether or not I would put it before my marriage??? Its not just about learning, its about personal growth. I've felt so much better about myself since I started this course, I've learnt so much about myself...But no, I wouldn't put school before my marriage. I've made a commitment to Adam and honestly, I hate seeing him unhappy. Also, but what if I choose Adam over school and I one day come to regret it???
The second problem that I have is in regards to my family and friends. I know that having to say goodbye to my nieces and nephew will be unbearable. I've always known this, it's nothing new. But my youngest niece is only three and I'm her favourite auntie and whilst I acknowledge that there are webcams and telephones, its not the same. I don't want her or any of them forgetting who I am. I just wanted a little more time to bond with them.
So, thus far I've got school and family/friends for reasons that I don't want to leave just yet. I'm also worried that I'd be miserable over there because we didn't get to wait the extra three years that I wanted. I would have no family or friends, no real job prospects. I'd be unable to work until my greencard was approved, I can't drive. I'd be in a place I'd never been before. What if we just end up exchanging Adams misery for my misery? What if our living in different countries wasn't the worst part about being in a long distance relationship, what if the worst part is in fact trying to find a place where you both feel at home?
I'm hoping that Adam does find a job and that it lasts the three years I need it to last, because otherwise I don't see us finding a happy middle ground.
1 comment:
It's hard deciding who should make the sacrifice him or me. But in the end it all works out for the best and while you think the decision is yours it's ultimately up to god and his big plan for you both.
So if you do move and regret it know that it was gods plan and roll with it.
I would suggest an easy route for you is to find school over here that has a similar writing course as the one you're currently enrolled in.
Once you find a college that has the course that interest you, apply at a foreign student for acceptance to the college.
Once you get accepted you can apply for a student visa, once in school you can apply for a work permit that would come easily as they'll expect you to need to work while attending school.
Once you have your work permit then applying for the green card will go very smoothly especially coupled with your marriage to an American.
I came for college expecting to return back to the UK upon completion. While in college I fell in love and got married and I never had any headaches or waits in terms of getting all my papers.
Once I started the American Citizen process I was done and sworn in in 10 months.
I know talking to others I was lucky but having faith didn't hurt!!
Whatever your decision I know it will be a good and healthy one!!!
P.S. How did you find me?
Post a Comment