Sherms In The Middle

The concept that we're all social beings doesn't exactly ring true to me, I just no longer feel social, in terms of making plans to interact with anybody other than the people I have to. I'm perfectly content for my world to be limited to engaging with my family, university and work colleagues. And even then I sometimes think that that's too much. I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way, it's just that I often can't be bothered with the hassle of having to pretend that everything is going swimmingly. And when I do get the time which most people would spend socialising, I'm more interested in relaxing with a good book or catching up on my TV shows. I don't really have any external hobbies, the closest I could get would be my sporadic attempts at the gym. That's not to say that I wouldn't like hobbies, it just comes back to the issue of money and time. Oh but how I'd love to try my hand at dancing and gymnastics. I often think about joining a tennis club during the summer months as I never have anyone to play with. But its an idea that is always put on hold for when our financial situation is better.

I was looking over my previous blog, the one I had for years on AOL before they kicked us out. It's nice because there are circumstances that I've thankfully graduated from, but then there are still things which are central to my life. Such as Adam and family dramas. But what I'm noticing the most is the content difference. I've gone from being someone who is quite carefree, writing about the most abstract things, to being currently bogged down with life and it's stresses. Every day there is a new challenge to be faced or obstacle to overcome, I read somewhere that it's these very obstacles that sort the men from the boys. Well, I'm neither, though I like to think myself one tough cookie. Adam usually reminds me that I'm not.

Tonight whilst scanning some internet pages, I came across a blog and webpage dedicated to helping Black Women find/date/marry White Men. I honestly had no idea there were even groups like that out there and I've belonged to some pretty out there online support groups; "My name is Shermeen and I have an anal fissure" was not one of my finest moments but definitely a wise move given the advice. Anyway, as a black woman married to a white man, I'm always feeling judged by people. Namely other black people, who enjoy giving us looks or assume that we're not married because we're two different races. I'm not gonna go down race avenue, don't worry. I was just glad to see that there were other women out there who recognised that this is an issue, there is a market for such a group, so why not. This makes me wonder what else you can find online, a support group for men who wear incontinence pads maybe? Or one for girls who hate werewolves but LOVE JACOB BLACK??? I think I shall investigate!